Here

Why is it so hard to remember that God is here ALWAYS. I mean we walk around in our good times and say Oh God is with me, He is amazing and never leaves, but then the moment something bad happens you panic. My first reaction is Why did you let this happen to me!!! as if He just took a coffee break, has no clue about my ordeal, and left me on my own in the big real world.
Recently I was at church and one of the things that was said during the sermon really stuck with me so I wrote it in my Bible.
"Hinge on what He has done"
So okay if you know me you know besides being a bit of a spaz I also have a bit of a panic attack problem, okay well more than a bit, but anyways. When stuff gets stressful and I feel like I am in an uncontrollable situation, my brain automatically goes into freak out mode and I start panicking. So all that to say there has been stuff in my life that has been pretty stressful the last few weeks so my panic attacks have been the worst I have ever had, so today when I felt the beginnings of a panic attack coming, right away I went into full on freak out mode. Let me just say it's awful having one of those things, especially when I am not at home where I feel less awkward about it. So I immediately started asking God why He would let me have this right now, How could He does this to me, Why does He leave me to do this on my own?
Since I have been trying to find a way to focus on something other than the panic, so I have started carrying my Bible with me everywhere. Now when I feel panicky I can pull out my Bible and just use the word as my focus point. I had left a bookmark on that page where I had written that phrase so first thing I saw was "Hinge on what He has done." So I just started thinking back to every time I have had a panic attack before. Yes they were awful, miserable, and in no way fun stuff, but I survive them EVERYTIME. I have yet to die from one (and will never die from one), most people don't makes fun of me for it, and I always make it through them.
So rather than freaking out more, I just started telling myself, "God is always here, He always is with me through this. I will be fine" I know in the future I will have panic attacks-its just part of my life. But as I am walking through the rough stuff in life I have to remember He taking care of me, even when I doubt Him, He is right HERE.