silence is golden-or torture-depends on your perspective.

new things learned today:
*i now understand what a recession is, haa, i sorta had an idea bout it before but after hearing about it for the 1,000,000 time today. i thought id educate myself about it, since i like learning new things. Quite interesting stuff-especially in light of the fact that good ole Uncle Sam is making bank off taking taxes from my poor paycheck, which is really not that valuable i have learned this week, and to top it off I gotta fork over more mula to Uncle Sam now cuz he didnt get enough to start with. Blah Uncle Sam seems a bit greedy to me...i kid i kid. i appreciate the fact that i live in america and am blessed to be free and such-esp if i have to fork over the cash it makes me a bit more appreciative of my previously mentioned freedom.
Wow that sorta became a long winded-slightly run on sentence of my thoughts on recessions and govt! HAAA
*i also learned that i will not fall over dead if i dont spend my day constantly texting... strange cuz i really thought id at least get light headed or something... crazzy.

yay that beks and jake are going to be in town for a lil bit...

it brings a smile to my face

Im starting a list of things that bring me joy and Im going to keep adding to it as I think of new things, so when the grind of daily stresses and life get to me I can check out my list and remember that there are good things, and simple things, that make it okay.

~THINGS THAT BRING ME JOY~

-Garrett eskimo kisses, his zoolander face, and his funny smiles
-"bears beets battlestar galatica"
-singing along with the music at the top of my lungs

-that peace from God when I need it most
-reading the illuminati for the 500th time
-that quiet moment right before i fall asleep when all feels right with the world
-driving with the windows down on a cool day
-sleep cuz sleep is a serious business to me
-iron chef america (LOL)
-talking to my best friends cuz i dont have to explain what i mean-they just get me
-watching pride & prejudice (the miniseries version) again...and again...and again
-falling asleep to the breeze from my fan &"a thousands summers" by tim janis playing
-swinging on the hammock in the yard
-when something truly entertains me and i can laugh really loud

-bear hugs from Hannah

-getting a random funny text from a friend

-seeing new pictures of Gavin

-having someone ask my thoughts and really listen to me

......more to come......

a series of blurs like i never occurred

wow. okay i got online when i got home just now and realized a few things:
1-it has been almost a week since i even posted on here. (blah what happened to my commitment!? life would be the best guess because i didnt even see my room over this last weekend. i think i need to move my room closer to where ive been living my life so this doesnt happen as often anymore)
2-its been a month of NO DR PEPPERS. wow. major cause for celebration. & i have survived some very scarry no sleep situations during that month all with just water! (and the random sweet tea!-sweet tea must be said with a deep Texas drawl-otherwise whats the point.)
3-i had another major champion loser of a day (yes champion loser is a slight condtradiction but im trying to make a point of how awful the last couple of days have been.) but i survived!!!!
4-i like to number things off when i make a point... why do i do this? well who can understand the mind of me-cuz i sure dont get it and it belongs to me.
anyways.
thats all i have to share for now.

major important birthday!!!!!!!!

H A P P Y

B I R T H D A Y

A M B E R!

Its Amber's birthday! YAYYY

I am totally beyond words blessed to have Amber (and in turn her entire family) in my life. I seriously had nooo idea that when we met the first time years ago that we would become such amazing friends or that I would get to know the entire family so well. I count myself very fortunate to call her as my friend, and not just any friend-my florida bestie!!!

Happpppy Birthday!!!

life

goodness life is crazy hectic right now... i cant even get my laundry caught up.... lol
but oh well i prayed for guidance and God gave me plans, so im rocking right along.
if you need inspiration check out Tim Janis' album Thousand Summers---amazzzzzzing!!! i love it.

Castles and The King

when i hear the words: fortress, castle, stronghold-i've always thought: heroic, wisdom and safety. but what about the flip side? a fortress or castle could be used as a prison, example: the tower of London, the Bastille, or even Alcatraz. i came to the realization that i have built a stronghold around my heart. for years i've felt I was being serious about being faithful to Him in my dating life, but i have figured out that rather than me being guarded i was closing off my heart for selfish purposes. i spent years building walls around it to keep others too close for fear of opening myself up to rejection, humiliation, and failure. i could say oh i had something in my childhood that gives me an excuse to be so closed off but now that i have been dealing with that issue that made a little piece of the wall fell. now that the wall has a weak spot that puts everything in jeopardy. the image im seeing is like a dam with a little bitty crack that is dribbling water. the water is God because He wants and deserves to be everywhere completely permeating everything but the dam is stopping the natural flow. so as the crack widens more of Him is seeping into my life, eventually with the whole thing collapsing and He gets it all! so ive got to open up and let the only stronghold or fortress i need be the protection of my Father God and not my own selfish weak self created castle. 0nce i am at the place where ive let Him be my protector and center He will allow me to move forward into His great plan.

valentines

i love valentines day-actually i love any reason to dress up cute, laugh a lot really loud and go hang out with fun folks... soo yayyy for valentines day cause i got to do all of the above. plus then as soon as the party ended i jumped in the car and took off for Denton, where at about 1 am i am currently chilling with Joel watching National Geographic Channel (LOL yeahhh!!) just in case you havent ever spent some time with my Shoely you def should make that a priority in your life. LOL he is flipping awesome.

and in just roughly two hours i will be loading up and headed to the big ole DFW to fly far away to Jax Fl to see my bestie and her amazing family. I am super excited. I love her and her family rocks too. 

soo okay thats all i am saying cause i need to attempt to sleep for a lil bit before i head out. 

Happy Valentines Day.

(Shout out to Kell-sorry im missing this most important birthday. i will come back asap and we can have a belated bday party! love you!!!)

not cool not cool at all

i am sickish
and i am not happy about it.

im trying home remedies to get my sinuses happy again,
and it is not fun at all!!
it feels like someone punched me in the face - ouch...

ray of sunshine

today is gorgeous. seriously gorgeous. i just spent almost 2 hours laying on the hammock in the back yard, just chilling-relaxing-texting (of course) it was quite nice. i seriously think that swinging on a hammock must be some sensory thing for me cause i think it rocks major.
i have a bit of a funky throat today so i keep coughing something awful lol its a nasty smokers cough-which i should not have-but o well-dang that sinus drainage and my awful sinuses!
its only a few days until i go on my valentines trip! :) wooo. Since i love presents, i gave myself a great present for Valentines Day-a new cell phone and a trip to Florida!!! WOOOOO I am super excited.

i have a new fave song (i still have to get the updated lyrics from dad)

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;

Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;

Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:

Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won,

May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

saturdays, games, and such

i love love love saturdays. and this saturday is no different. i get to sleep bum around and do whatever all day, then its game night at the HAWL house. Rock on!!!! only bad part of the day is i have major sinus drainage haaa i sound like ive smoked 10 packs a day for 20+ years its awful and a lil scary.

i saw juno last night-i really liked it, laughed a lot-and the soundtrack was killer awesome. then i headed to olive garden to dine with friends-lol-i love cheese!!!! :) the fonduit(??) is amazing-try it.
i have nothing amazing or brilliant to share since i just awoke and still am quite out of it, but have a lovely saturday!!!!!!!!
:) K
ps i am in love...... with my rocking new cell-palm treo-it is flipping sweet phone...

seriously im being serious

first thought-not a serious thought-i wish i had a way cool accent like british or something fun. instead of my amusing texas twang... o well...
second thought-the serious thought-
(yes there are run on sentences-lol-i didnt mess with editing.)
I never realized until now that I wish I had had someone in my life when I was a teenager and young adult who had wanted to spend the time and pour into my life in such a way to help guide and influence me in a good way rather than letting friends guide me so much. I think that because of the experiences I had as a teenager and the feeling of no one to relate to me and thinking no one cared, whether thru youth pastors not engaging us on a heart level, rebellious spirits wanting to argue with parents, or no ready and available or willing mentors-But with those issues and remembering the place I was in and the guidance I wanted-even craved-from someone who I thought could and would relate to me and someone who I knew I could trust and would love me if I asked the tough questions or even I tripped up and made mistakes. Now that I have someone pouring into my life (actually multiple people) I know that I can turn somewhere and get Godly advice and have that connection where I know someone cares and someone wants me to go the right way and it gives you a better sense of how to trust God on a deeper level, because He has gave me a sounding board and you know that He cannot let you down-unconditional love has NO conditions.. No matter what things come to trip me up, I know that there is a purpose to me having the experiences I had, because I can turn around and use these things to be relatable to other girls going thru the same thing. He uses all things to make us run to Him.

I have a purpose and there is a purpose to His works; He presses us to change us, not just alter our behavior but change us at our very heart. Not in wrath but in mercy, He presses us to the deepest darkest place not in anger but in love. When everything is taken away and He is all we have, we realize He is all we need.

Check out Psalm 138 and 139

super tuesday

i had grand plans this evening to make a quick trip to Denton to see Kell after her surgery, but mother nature had other plans. Mother Nature isn't very nice when she decided to throw baby hail at my pretty still new car!!! (or when she throws baseball hail at my dad/sister's transportation either) Yeah Im definitely not a fan of hers today. Soo instead I stayed home, and decided to catch up on my rest (much needed for sure) and now im watching the SUPER TUESDAY VOTING RESULTS.... (dorky as it is, i like election stuff. so this is really fun for me... yeppp)
i just have to say that i am really blessed to have the wonderful friends that i have, they are really so brilliant and supportive of me! i have had a super super busy last few weeks and its been crazy. But great news!!! Only one panic attack and it wasn't a very bad one!!!! (I think too much sugar can be a trigger for it, cause stress and lack of sleep hasn't set it off yet. Weird.) Yeah so I've hit 2 weeks with no dr pepper, and let me tell you this weekend was realllly hard. I wanted a dp so bad-but i survived!!! WOOO well im about to get ready for work tomorrow then crash out for a lovely night of sleep........

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is! Matthew 6:21-23

major sleep needed

ok i ended up volunteering with overdrive at my church this weekend and it totally wore me out, i am still trying to recover and once i do i will get back into the swing of blogs and real life...
but overall the experience was AMAZING! i love the direction God is taking my life and even though i have no idea where its headed im having fun.
check out this link for pictures from the weekend.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=28134&l=4d6fc&id=662806722