Castles and The King

when i hear the words: fortress, castle, stronghold-i've always thought: heroic, wisdom and safety. but what about the flip side? a fortress or castle could be used as a prison, example: the tower of London, the Bastille, or even Alcatraz. i came to the realization that i have built a stronghold around my heart. for years i've felt I was being serious about being faithful to Him in my dating life, but i have figured out that rather than me being guarded i was closing off my heart for selfish purposes. i spent years building walls around it to keep others too close for fear of opening myself up to rejection, humiliation, and failure. i could say oh i had something in my childhood that gives me an excuse to be so closed off but now that i have been dealing with that issue that made a little piece of the wall fell. now that the wall has a weak spot that puts everything in jeopardy. the image im seeing is like a dam with a little bitty crack that is dribbling water. the water is God because He wants and deserves to be everywhere completely permeating everything but the dam is stopping the natural flow. so as the crack widens more of Him is seeping into my life, eventually with the whole thing collapsing and He gets it all! so ive got to open up and let the only stronghold or fortress i need be the protection of my Father God and not my own selfish weak self created castle. 0nce i am at the place where ive let Him be my protector and center He will allow me to move forward into His great plan.