life

wow its been forever since i posted. i killed my laptop awhile back and it was in the shop for a while, then it came home, and crashed again, so back to the hospital it went and now its home and The Passion Play is over and I have a semi normal life again.
First day back to normalcy sucked hardcore. there really arent any other words to describe this monday... BLAH but i guess the bad days make you appreciate the good ones all the more. soo bring on the good ones for a bit please!!!!

One thing I am so not good at dealing with is confrontations of any kind. I hate, avoid, and stress about having to talk to people about anything that might cause an embarrassment, scene, or dust up. And the new me keeps having moments where I have to talk about EVERYTHING I'm feeling or thinking or explain myself-I guess thats part of being social and around people. Blah its super hard for me and every time it happens I just want to sit and cry rather than have to talk it out. So far I've done good at expressing my thoughts without losing it but still I am finding it super rough. Being an adult is nothing like I thought it would be. They really should teach a class in school on what to expect when you grow up. Prayer is appreciated!

So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Romans 7:14-25